Tag Archives: sexual energy

[Vibration-Energy-Transcension-Healing Case Study][Video] Jatzen: Connecting her to the God’s Source for The Power of Synchronicity and being aware of her purpose. ActivationNumber: 8525358 Friday, December 19, 2014

Today was our 5th session together. Today I utilized Divine Blueprint Programming download, Mind Insertion, Intentional Energy Transfer and Emotion Removal.

From our beginning discussion, she was sharing about a situation where she felt transgressed, offended. The feeling that I picked up is basically feeling used, betrayed, a slapped in the face. She chose to stay within her energy level and elements and chose not to lower her energy vibration to that person. It goes to show good personal energy vibration level awareness, good assertiveness and a good sense of personal power, as well as good energy shield to not let that person steal her energy.

I asked her, “Do you believe the Universe will return you the energy, for what you have done?” She replied, “Yes I do believe that.” With an affirming yes, showing a good sense of faith and courage. Starting to see her purpose and accepting God’s grace of things being put into her life or taken away.

She is also showing a good sense of her sexual energy, and not using it to manipulate in social situation. She is also valuing her sexual energy much more and not willing to give it out just for a short-term (lower vibration) energy of self-esteem and love. She is also showing that she is using her sexual energy to express her love and life passion through words and passion for life by sharing good time with other people, and is able to receive it. Instead of looking for it through physical sexual interaction.

To me, she has healed tremendously from the four prior sessions, she is ready to spread her wings and become God’s Warrior.

From listening to her story, it is clear to me that the next thing she should know about is the value of time. I asked her, “What is time to you? In a personal sense, not spiritual or philosophical” She said to her it’s like a sphere and it just bounces back and forth, going so fast and erratic. This shows that she is not feeling in sync with time. This give me the clue to the energy session, I must help her accept and see her life mission and soul purpose better and to enjoy the journey. I asked her if there is anything else she wants to tell me, she said I want to be more organized. So I asked her, “What is organization to you?” She said, things have a place. She feels like her things doesn’t have a place or know its place. Like her cat would know not to be on the dining table. When she used the cat analogy, that was showing me that she already is aware just lacking the knowing. I told her it sounds to me she feels the lack of purpose in life, and we will work on more sense of personal life purpose and to be more aware of it.

On to energy, at the start of the energy session I told her to pray for guidance and to pray for more awareness. I felt something in my stomach when I placed my hand over her. I also felt pain from my left to the right temple when I placed my hand over her forehead, this has to do with her third eye. I was working around her head and did a Divine Blueprint Programming download of awareness of synchronicity and purpose. I also unplugged her from….and replugged her to the God’s Source, I felt a lot of energy within my body (it felt like God’s love energy) rising up from my mid section. When I replugged her to the God’s Source, she took a deep breath, like as if she had just came back to life. I then did a Mind Insertion for a courage to be aware and to open to God’s grace and love.

I infused, Intentional Energy Transfer, purpose energy at her feet, felt sexual energy from me going into her, or I was feeling her sexual energy being charged up.

I also performed another Mind Insertion by holding her left hand and placing my right hand on her mid dantian, to feel God’s love, to know and accept her purpose, to use her sexual energy productively to fulfil her purpose and to receive limitless love, happiness and joy. During this time, I felt a tremendous about of God’s love energy within me, surrounding my body, it was also shooting upward and downward to my sex center, I felt love, sexual and energetically pleasurable. When I felt it going down to the sex center, that was when I did a mind insertion for her to use her sexual energy to fulfil her purpose.

She reported seeing number 8, 5, 25, 35 and 8. To me this is the activation code from the awareness programming download and me connecting her to the God’s Source. She said she saw two shapes coming together and hugged. She also saw herself walking down a dirt road, with a dog in front of her, and she heard a woman voice asking her “Where are you going?” Jatzen said she replied, “I’m going to stay here.” and the woman asked her again, “Where are you going?” Jatzen said she should have paid attention to her. I told her yes, that is what synchronicity is all about.

“The dog has long been considered a liaison between the physical and non-physical dimensions.”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/dog-meaning-and-symbolism.html

She felt a pain in her uterus that went away, I connected that to when I felt something in my stomach. To me this probably has to do with the rebirth energy. But this one website said it is connected to the sacral chakra and it has to do with sexuality and the power of self-confidence, enthusiasm (passion) and courage. I think we either healed it or open it more up to the higher chakras here.

She also said she saw shiny green and yellow dancing and flying together. I believe this has to do with her Heart and Solar Plexus being connected and in alignment and dancing in harmony. Well the heart has to do with love, giving and receiving and Solar Plexus has to do with Personal Power (self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect, empowered).

Great progression thus far. So by giving her purpose energy, it also seem to help fuel her personal power energy; which will work its way for her to express herself through the power of divine love and joy, which will allow her to receive it back per the Law of Attraction and Return. She was feeling some anxiety at the end regarding a major decision that she has not made, I help removed it and told her to have faith that she is taken care of.

Credit:
http://mychakras.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/second-chakra-pelvic-chakra-svadhisthana-chakra/
http://www.sobrietystones.com/resources/Colors/meaning_color_green.htm
http://www.chakra-colors.com/Solar-Plexus-Chakra/

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

 

Life coaching and energy healing session with Jatzen, part 2. Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Jatzen wanted to discussed more about what has been on her mind since our energy healing session, [Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Jatzen. Comet vision and the number 445. Thursday, July 24, 2014, so we had planned it for today. Originally, I had planned to give her an energy healing session, without crystals, to see what would happen. However, what the Universe provided me with today, was a guidance in what I should do with Jatzen by providing me a practice session with my mom during lunch, [Video Blog] True Love is amazing. And being accepted for being an Empath.Psychic by my mom feels quite awesome. Wednesday, July 30, 2014. In an interconnected series of events, I was able to provide Jatzen with the next evolution of my gift and service based on what has been happening these past several days.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014 8:39pm est [fb msg] Jatzen: I had met a shaman but he kept telling me I already knew n I have no clue what lol n then he said I would run into two people who did energy work a man n one a woman I wonder if u are the man

So I believe what I am doing is basically life coaching with energy stuff added. She was telling me what has been on her mind, and I was asking her some questions related to this issue. Now, I knew in the back of my mind I was going to give her an energy healing session at some point. What was cool is, as I listened to her story, I remembered what happened with my mom earlier today during lunch, and I decided to apply my new awareness while listening to her. I was able to feel her emotions and chakra energies inside of me, and I found it to be amazing because now I could really tell what is going on with her from the emotional standpoint and how to help her. This also prevent me from having to touch someone to feel their emotions, because it could get too intense for me. Basically, based on what I feel from her emotions and energy, she was feeling anxiety and fear and was thinking too much. In regards to her sexual energy and past trauma, I felt she was betrayed and violated.

Her issue is related back to the first healing session, where it has to do with understanding her sexual energy and using it to regain her personal power. In this session, what I found out is that her sexual energy and sexual chakra have been damaged/violated by someone. I told her, to me, it was a dark art. I told her what we will focus on is healing her sexual energy and chakra, and reconnecting it with her heart chakra, love and emotions. I decided to try something for her that I have done for several others before when I became aware of my ability. I held her hand, with one hand on her neck, and I focused my healing energy on healing her sexual energy, her root chakra and her solar plexus; the area where I felt is being affected in this session.

Afterward, she confirmed with me that it worked. She said she felt like she was falling several times and she tried to stop it from happening. I told her that is a good sign that my healing was working, I was trying to release her from the bondage, I told her next time to let herself fall, to let go and don’t hold on. She also said she saw something flying in her vision, in copper color.

9:21pm est [txt] Jatzen: Thanks for visit today, is nice to talk, i took a walk after and i took notice how how many things, trees and cactus n flowers i had missed n not seen before, i will walk my path n smile, i will have stories to tell on my journey to my light, thank you xoxo..when we tap into the elemental and generative forces of life, using our inner vision to create new and exciting realities, it opens up all that we could not see before, i wish to meditate with u at the beach n pier Here near my home, it is my fortress my peace and i wish to share a moment under the moon and near The Water with you as The wind embraces us, i do my best listening to mother nature then =)
9:58pm Natt: Awesome, thanks for sharing 😀 I would love to do a meditation session with u by the beach.
10:07pm Jatzen: Ok awesome =) ill give u facial that way u relax n calm n then we can go beach n both meditate, will be great. It was very interesting today i felt like crawling sensation on my arm n leg, i find it interesting. =) i also like what u said, i will keep your words near always.
10:26pm Natt: 😀 We’ll do some more and see where it takes us 😀
10:28pm Jatzen: =) we r going to fly

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

OMG I’m friggin horny! Saturday, July 26, 2014

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I had so many sex dreams this morning…one was so effin real. I was raping this guy so good and I could actually felt the ejaculation in my dream. But I think it has to do with the over loaded sexual energy I received from Jatzen, [Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Jatzen. Comet vision and the number 445. Thursday, July 24, 2014, and Justin, [Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Justin. Time for ascension, time for transcension. Friday, July 25, 2014.; so I believe I am releasing the excess sexual energy through dreams. May be I need to learn how to absorbed them better into the high chakras.

Anyway, I have been wondering if having that two amazing sexual sensation experiences all over my body while doing energy work on Justin and Jatzen has to do with my celibacy? State of Celibacy, fear of bisexuality, and an alternate interpretation of psychic reading by Mia. Saturday, July 19, 2014. I should do another session with someone else to see if it is repeated. I do believe that being celibate, including no masturbation, increases my power. I wonder if there is any real truth to it. And it if is true, am I supposed to be single for the rest of my life? However, the concept of spiritual sex, sex with my soul mate, does not deplete my sexual energy and could enhance or replenish, could be the answer. I wanna fuck and hear you scream.

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

[Energy] Sexual energy, the concept. The source of personal power and finding true self. 123. Saturday, July 26, 2014

I feel the Universe is providing me with more proof and experiences for me to observe regarding my sexual energy concept. I believe others called it the primal force, the life force, may be I need a better term for it than sexual energy; but I am calling it like it is. It ties to relationship, being connected to others, being connected to God.force.universe, sex and love. Before it was mainly an observation from how people relate, but I got to feel it head on during my energy sessions for Jatzen’s energy healing session, [Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Jatzen. Comet vision and the number 445. Thursday, July 24, 2014, and Justin’s [Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Justin. Time for ascension, time for transcension. Friday, July 25, 2014. It seems to tie to every aspect of the chakras, and I guess it is the primal force, the life force. Perhaps I should read a book on life force/primal force, see what other people has to say about it.

Either way, I saw 123 while I was trying to explain to Jatzen a bit about sexual energy, and how to use it to find her true self, and to use it to gain her personal power. I told her, her sexual energy is precious and it should be used as such. 123 is significance to me because I was telling her, I am still not sure about this [sexual energy], it’s still just a concept, and I saw that number. I feel the Universe is still me I’m on the right track.

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

[Energy][Energy Healing] Crystal Chakra Balancing and Energy Healing session with Justin. Time for ascension, time for transcension. Friday, July 25, 2014

First of all, I knew my boy is special. He is energy sensitive, and he provided me with some really amazing sharing of metaphysical experience to date. My Star Child boy. God is calling on him…

“without getting into his person details, now I understand why I see a lot of his demon/shadow friends, and his demon identity that has revealed himself to me many times; I think he needs to turn himself fully over to God to bring full divinity into himself.”

After I mentioned to Justin on Wednesday, Ideas rule the world, power of inspiration, manifestation, and law of attraction. 1111, 444, 1234. Wednesday, July 23, 2014, that may be an energy healing session could provide him with some inspirations for his artwork for my t-shirt project, Justin decided to fb messaged me right after my yoga class today if I would do one on him. And I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. What is cool about this session is I got to further observe and understand the sexual energy, for my sexual energy concept.

While I was scanning Justin’s body, after having laid all of the crystals on his body, he said he felt waves at his third eye and then said that he saw an eye. I thought it’s interesting that he started seeing images and visions so quickly. I didn’t feel energy block on him, and the crystal pendulum confirmed it. I did feel something off (different) in his heart chakra. I decided to do energy unblocking anyway, just to increase his energy flow.

The light of the body is the eye if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light; but if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness; if therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness (Matthew 6:22, 23; Luke 11:34).
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Body/Eye.htm

While I was healing his feet (unblocking), my left ear rang. Then during infusing of energy, he said he sees flowers blooming, he said it’s so beautiful. They are pink.

“The signification of flowers, is the memory-knowledges of truth. Flowers have this signification, because flowers are growths which precede, and in their manner produce, the fruits and seeds; for, as is known, trees and plants blossom before they bear fruit. The case is the same with man in respect to intelligence and wisdom. The memory-knowledges of truth precede, and in their manner produce with man, the things of wisdom; for they serve as objects to his rational, and thus as means for growing wise. It is for this reason that the memory-knowledges of truth are as flowers; and the good of life, which is the good of wisdom, is as fruit. As all things in the spiritual world bear relation to such things as are in man, for the reason that heaven bears relation to a man, and corresponds to each and all things with man, therefore also all things in the natural world have a correspondence, a representation, and a signification in accordance with their agreement with such things as are in man (AC 9496). From this it can now be seen why flowers signify the memory-knowledges of truth, and in general truths; and why fruits, and likewise seeds, signify goods.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Plant/Flower.htm

“The Meaning of the Color Pink 4th Chakra – Anahata – Heart
Pink is the color of universal love. Emotional love of self and others , friendship, affection, harmony, inner peace, has both fire and air elements. Gentle, Casual and Approachable.

When this Chakra is blocked we experience – Anxiety, self hatred, lack of inner strength, grounding in self confidence that may allow you to be open to addictions to help fill the void created in our hearts, and feeling we can not attract love into our life.”
Source: http://www.sobrietystones.com/resources/Colors/meaning_color_pink_4.htm

While at root chakra (unblocking), I felt his sexual energy in a sexually aroused way, he started to shake a bit. I attempted to move it up to his higher chakras, right when I was doing that he said he see a sword, spinning and pointing at him.

“A sword in the internal sense signifies the truth of faith combating, and also the vastation of truth; and in the opposite sense falsity combating, and the punishment of falsity.

[2] I. That a sword signifies the truth of faith combating, may be seen from the following passages. In David:–

Gird Thy sword upon Thy thigh, O mighty One, prosper in Thy glow and Thy majesty, ride upon the word of truth, and Thy right hand shall teach Thee wonderful things (Ps. 45:3, 4);
where the Lord is treated of, the sword denoting truth combating. In the same:–
Let the merciful exult In glory, let them sing upon their beds let the high praises of God be in their throat, and a two-edged sword in their hand (Ps. 149:5, 6).”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Artifact/Sword.htm

At his sacral chakra, I felt a little funny in the same area in my body, was still feeling the sexual arousal. I did attempt to move his sexual energy upward once more.

While at the solar plexus chakra (unblocking) he said everything is turning blue, the sexual arousal subsided.

“Blue signifies the celestial love of truth. That “blue” has this signification, is because it belongs to the color of the sky, and because by this color is signified truth from a celestial origin, which is truth from the good of love to the Lord.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Colour/Blue.htm

While infusing energy at his solar plexus, he said now he sees grey. Right after I attempted to move his sexual energy up, he said he see fire with a red line wrapping around him.

“Gray is the color of intellect, knowledge, and wisdom. It is perceived as long-lasting, classic, and often as sleek or refined. It is a color that is dignified, conservative, and carries authority.”
Source: http://www.sensationalcolor.com/color-meaning/color-meaning-symbolism-psychology/all-about-the-color-gray-4378#.U9MiIHl0y00

“Crimson signifies the celestial love of good. The reason why this is signified by crimson, is that by a red color is signified the good of celestial love. For there are two fundamental colors from which come the rest: the color red, and the color white. The color red signifies the good which is of love; and the color white signifies the truth which is of faith. That the color red signifies the good which is of love, is because it comes from fire, and fire denotes the good of love; and the color white signifies the truth which is of faith, because it comes from light, and light denotes the truth of faith.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Colour/Crimson.htm

“Fire symbols and meanings allow you to hold the power and passion of the Gods, right in the palm of your metaphorical hand.”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/fire-symbols-and-meanings.html

“That flame denotes love Divine is because love in its first origin is nothing else than fire and flame from the Lord as a sun. It is the fire or flame of this sun which gives the being of life to every man; and it is the vital fire itself which fills the interiors of man with heat, as can be seen from love, for in proportion as love increases with man, he grows warm, and in proportion as love decreases, he grows cold.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Natural/Flame.htm

At the start of the lower heart chakra (unblocking), he saw one purple square, moving outward then compressed itself into a single line. He said it’s like it’s changing from 3D to 2D. He said it’s teetering/waving back and forth, kind of like a scale.

“The colour purple represents psychic abilities and the imagination. The traditional purple colour meaning is that of spiritual fulfilment. The meaning of purple is also associated with royalty, nobility and power.”
Source: http://www.alizons-psychic-secrets.com/purple.html

“According to Rowena and Rupert Shepherd in their book,1000 Symbols: What Shapes Mean in Art and Myththe square is a symbol of the heart in Islam. Each side of the four sides of the heart-square symbolizes an aspect or opening for awareness and inspiration. These symbolic sides are: Angelic, Diabolic, Human, Divine”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/square-symbol-meaning.html

While I was placing infusing energy quartz on his lower heart, he saw a mountain, and it was getting closer to him, looks like an island. While infusing energy, he said it flatten out. I did feel energy moving around his throat chakra, like it’s opening up more.

“The mountains shall bring peace, and the hills in righteousness (Ps. 72:3).”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Geographical/Hill.htm

“Keep silence before Me, O Islands; and let the peoples renew their strength, let them come near. The isles saw, and feared; the ends of the earth trembled they drew near, and came (Isaiah 41:1, 5).”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Geographical/Isles.htm

While unblocking his heart chakra, I felt intense energy moving out from his chest, and he started screaming a little saying that it’s burning. Then he see white, then splash red/orange, then red and white mix. I felt more energy flowing up around his throat. It is clearing down to his heart, I started to be able to breath really well…it felt fresh.

“The signification of white is truth, but properly the Lord’s righteousness and merit, and derivatively the Lord’s righteousness and merit in man”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Colour/White.htm

“The white lotus flower on the other hand sits at a stage between these two and is associated with the state of bodhi; that of becoming awakened to the wonders of it all. When one reaches this state it is said that one has mental purity and has reached a state of spiritual perfection.”
Source: http://www.lotusflowermeaning.net/white.php

“The color orange relates to social communication, stimulating two way conversations. A warm and inviting color, it is both physically and mentally stimulating, so it gets people thinking and talking!”
Source: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-orange.html

During infusing of energy at his heart chakra, I felt a lot of heat. My breathing is even better now. It is so clear.

While unblocking his throat chakra, he see one yellow triangle. It’s melting from the top rolling down like a flame on both sides, and then each side rolled back up to the tip. Then he see a man dancing, orange with black legs.

“1 Cor 5:5  To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

“The spirit of Truth” is the serum that protects us from the poison of this spiritual leprosy. This phrase ‘spirit of Truth appears four times in the New Testament. They are very revealing in their connection with our subject, the color yellow and it’s meaning:”
Source: http://www.iswasandwillbe.com/The_Color_Yellow.php

“In Western society, the triangle most often has highly Christian meanings when used in a religious context. Because the Christian God is a trinity – Father, Son and Holy Ghost united in a single godhead – he is commonly represented by a triangle.

As a three-sided polygon, the triangle represents the number three, which is meaningful to many groups. As such, triangles and other symbols made of three parts may be used to present such concepts as past, present, and future or spirit, mind and body.”
Source: http://altreligion.about.com/od/symbols/ig/Geometric-Shapes/Triangles.htm

“The signification of dance, is predicated of the affection of spiritual truth, and signifies its pleasantness or gladness.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Activity/Dance.htm

While infusing energy at his throat chakra, he saw a frog, one green frog. Then it was standing up, looking around, then hopped away. Then a white fly was flying toward him, and the frog ate it.

“The frog understands what it is like to undergo some serious growing pains – and so it is a fantastic animal totem for teenagers as they sometimes struggle to find their place (in-betwix youth and adulthood) in society.”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-frog.html

“As symbol of transition and transformation, this spirit animal supports us in times of change. Strongly associated with the water element, it connects us with the world of emotions and feminine energies, as well as the process of cleansing, whether it’s physical, emotional, or more spiritual or energetic.”
Source: http://www.spiritanimal.info/frog-spirit-animal/

“Fly aids in demonstrating the power of keen eyesight along with expanding awareness in many directions. Although flies are known for carrying diseases in unfavorable surroundings, the lesson of fly is in the value of carrying your emotions, thoughts and feelings in order to act quickly in sometimes unfavorable or uncomfortable conditions.”
Source: http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_insects.html

While unblocking his third eye, he saw turquoise then a skull. It flashed by quickly. He said the skull rose out of the water, has some skin around it’s mouth, smiled, open its mouth and then swallowed him and disappeared. While infusing energy to his third chakra, I felt the funny sensation in my lower back, I attribute this to the sexual energy.

‘’”While on the subject of symbolic geometry, the head or skull itself is circular. The eyes are particularly round too, and circles are common Celtic symbols for cycles (time) as well as immortality and wholeness. Circles represent an essence of energetic connectivity that is vast and endless.

Perhaps the Celts, in their own vastly connected way, held the skull symbol as an oracle. Perhaps in the depths of trance or meditation, the eyes and mouth of the skull would open, like cosmic tunnels, serving as gateways into etheric knowledge.”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-skull-symbol-meanings.html

“Turquoise helps to open the lines of communication between the heart and the spoken word. It presents as a friendly and happy color enjoying life.

In color psychology, turquoise controls and heals the emotions creating emotional balance and stability. In the process it can appear to be on an emotional roller coaster, up and down, until it balances itself.”
Source: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-turquoise.html

While healing his crown chakra, he made a lot of moaning noises. I felt slight funny sensation (energy) moving up my back into my chest, again sexual energy. He saw a snake, black, first looking at him, then coiled into a ball, move looked up at him. Then it moved and slithering around. Then it climbed up a palm tree with four branches.

“From the Celtic perspective, the snake was a symbol of secret knowledge, cunning and transformation.”
Source: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/snake-symbolic-meaning.html

“As a palm-tree signifies good, it also signifies wisdom, for wisdom is of good. This was signified by the palm-trees which together with the cherubs and flowers were carved upon the walls of the temple; for the temple signified the Lord Himself, and in the representative sense, heaven (AC 2777, 3720). The cherubs, the palm-trees, and the flowers upon the walls signified Providence, wisdom, and intelligence, which are from the Lord, thus all things which are of heaven.”
Source: http://www.biblemeanings.info/Words/Plant/Palmtree.htm

While infusing energy at his crown chakra, right before he cough, I saw a face of a boy, he sort of smirked at me…it felt like it’s Justin’s energy. Then Justin cough, a release of energy, the face of the boy turned into some sort of a drawing, like an emoticon, but no emotion. I felt that good funny sensation (sexual energy) running from my heart, down my back and my arms, down to my penis. When I placed my hand on the back of his neck, I saw a big red demon, in his lair…it seems like he was alone, slouching on a big chair.

SOOO much information to absorbed! Geesh….well to summarized, the theme here is spiritual truth, to be awaken to the spiritual divine truth and come into divinity. It is interesting that I saw the boy face and the demon, it ties back to his reading with Mia on Power of inspiration with Justin. Friday, July 18, 2014 (his reading is not shared on my blog). And about the demon, without getting into his person details, now I understand why I see a lot of his demon/shadow friends, and his demon identity that has revealed himself to me many times; I think he needs to turn himself fully over to God to bring full divinity into himself. There is also a lot of theme in this session on inspiration, creativity and tapping into the divine source, again, tied back to the reading with Mia. I also find it interesting that a lot of theme about socialness, truth, honesty, and love from my phone conversation with him, Social skill, love, respect, and law of attraction. Wednesday, July 23, 2014, is being repeated here. I have also have been telling Justin about sexual energy and how to use it productively, this session message seems to be relating to that as well.

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

State of Celibacy, fear of bisexuality, and an alternate interpretation of psychic reading by Mia. Saturday, July 19, 2014

Yesterday I woke up from a “realistic” dream that I had “accidentally” masturbated while sleeping, and I was upset that I had lost my sexual energy that I’m storing up to assist in my kundalini awakening process. It has been over two months now since I have any physical sexual energy release, including masturbation. This is not the first time that I am practicing celibacy and it is definitely easier this time. It is now my fourth attempt, with four months being the longest during the third attempt. I am fine throughout the day and night, and the only time that it bothers me is in the morning when I’m still asleep waking up.

During the past two days in bikram yoga class, I feel that my sexual energy is now starting to be at the level it needs to be to help me build and pushing up the rest of my energy through the higher chakras. This has happened before many times…but basically what I get is sexual body orgasm feeling where the sexual energy is moving around my pelvic zone and throughout my spine and into my body, and some time it makes me want to laugh. I need to observe this more.

During class it got me thinking more about the question that Mia asked me from our reading, [Awakening Story Arc] My reading with Mia and the need to find a spiritual/metaphysical teacher. Friday, July 18, 2014, what am I afraid of? If I were to look at it from a personal healing and transformation perspective, I have been dealing with fear of women, especially strong and/or attractive women. I have come to fully accept that I have been dealing with fears of bisexuality within myself, fear of being a “heterosexual” male, and sex with woman. I won’t go into detail about fear of bisexuality and being a man concept in this post. Anyway, it would make sense why the source started telling me since 2012 that I must stay away from sex . I must abstain from all sex conducts to assist in my healing and transformation.

I also thought I will start saying I’m on a journey to become a fully realized spiritual warrior for now, instead of saying light warrior, in regard to my conversation with Mia yesterday. I am still looking for a better word for it…but I feel I must bring balance of the two sexes and sexual energy into myself first.

<@work Friday, July 18, 2014>
Lawun: Those girls clinged to the showcase talking to you, they didn’t want to leave the store.
Natt: Yeah, I’m bi now. Not gay anymore.
Mom: That’s good, more advantage. You can have it both ways.
Natt: Yeah. Fun.

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

Sexual healing and using sexual energy as a gateway to friendship and love. Thursday, July 17, 2014

Disclaimer: Sexual energy I’m referring to is the force that fuel my passion, the innate desire to take action. It does not discriminate, only my mind discriminate.

In an on going response from the Universe [Law of Attraction] to my intention of sexual healing, the Universe had provided me with two separate experiences, one with a guy, one with a girl, one yesterday and one today for me to observe, contrast and compare.

I met a beautiful young black guy yesterday at Bikram Yoga Sarasota. I noticed mutual physical admiration, and receiving the sexual energy he gave out was making me giggle and unable to stop smiling to myself for quite some time before class begin. After class, I saw an opportunity to get to know him so I strike up a conversation with him and I found out that he is from South Africa, he is a runner for Nike and Africa and is training here. He had gotten injured and decided to try bikram yoga for the first time yesterday, he feels that it would help him run better by giving him more flexibility. I told him it would also give him more core strength and endurance. I was fascinated with what he’s doing and would love to get to know him more, so I asked him if he wanted to trade phone number, may be I could show him around town. Now, I know I did something wrong at the time and was later reconfirmed today by the force.universe. I was turning my sexual energy toward sex, instead of using it for kinship love. For a moment, I had sex thoughts with him and I put that energy out, instead of putting out love and friendship.

So today, I texted him about an hour before Bikram Yoga class asking if he is still going to yoga, just to make a conversation. I never got a replied from him, so I asked him in the beginning of class if he got my txt. He told me he had just lost his phone today, and was telling me a short story about it. I made sure to move up all of my sexual energy toward my heart chakra this time while interacting with him.

With the turn of event with the cell phone, I was reminded once more by the Universe to continue with my celibacy, and to continue branching out in healing my sexual energy with the opposite sex. Then there she was, a pretty white girl who has just happened to do Bikram yoga again after three years. After having had a good experience with talking to a pretty girl on the plane this past Monday, I strike up a conversation with her. It was awesome. I talked to a pretty girl today.

©natt9450.com Nattawat Apibal [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450]

Weekend with Mark T: Reclaiming my innocence, love, healing, transformation, and liberation from being a sex object. Tuesday, July 15, 2014

This is part of the weekend with Mark T Series:
1. Reclaiming my innocence, healing, transformation, and liberation from being a sex object.
2. Power of Manifestation
3. Power of Intention
4. Power of Inspiration
5. Sexual energy and love

In an on going response from the Universe to my intention of connecting with people, sexual healing, transformation and liberation from the human body, the universe has provided me with some experiences to write about after my free writing [Full Moon][Video Blog][Free Writing] Reclaim Your Innocence. Saturday, July 12, 2014.

Mark T is an answer to my desire to have an adult male who I could feel safe with sexually to help me further my goal of sexual healing and find my true self. I grew up without a real male role model, energy, affection and love. The first experience of being love and physically touch by a man was being molested by adults started when I was four or five years old, I was molested by woman as well but for a brief period. Growing up, I have tied affection and love, feeling of love, the ability to receive love, and giving love to all form of sexual contact. Growing up, I was also programmed to believe that nudity, my human body, is sex; part of the reason is of course sex happens when I’m naked or when the other person is.

Regardless of Mark’s true intent, or the fact that he may find me sexually appealing, he remained respectful to who I am and my needs. There were many moments during my time with him that I felt like he was being my father. Because of molestation, I have been guarded with who could touch me, I was programmed to believe that physical touch lead to sex. It has been something that I have been working on healing over the years, to know how to have human touch with love and affection. Mark T suggested that I sleep in his bed while I stayed over at his house, and I saw it as my moment to let my guard down and trust someone. I know that I will be safe this time, at least from my part, because I have rebuilt my sexual boundary through the help of Jennifer Holbrook of NOVA in 2013, and from reading the book she suggested I read “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw. And sleeping on the couch doesn’t seem very comfortable.

Natt: Where should I sleep?
Mark: You could just sleep in my bed.
Natt: Uh huh…
Mark: It will be ok, I won’t rape you.

While it was uneasy for me, and there were moments when I got mad (from old programming), it was definitely healing. It was nice to be able to sleep next to someone, being hugged by someone, and having my body respected. He did not touch me sexually, and I appreciated it. It has been healing because I am getting to connect with a male without sex, even though there may be a lot of sexual energy involve, this will also help me reprogramming myself in an ongoing rebalancing and healing of my sexual self in how I relate to a woman; in regards to my fear of bisexuality and sex itself.

In the continuance of me exploring nudity, I had a thought about exploring my journey of nudity with Mark T, and after a good weekend with him where he has helped me with my healing, I decided to asked him if he would want to take my nude pictures for me. It does feel liberating to not have fear and be ashamed of my human body, this is how God made me, this is what I look like without clothes on. I am not this body, I am not a sex object, my body is a temple of God, and it is beautiful. And you know what? Taking nude picture is fun!

*Disclaimer* Don’t click on the link to my flickr album if you have a personal issue with nudity, and especially have an issue with seeing me nude.
Photo Session with Mark T [Non-nude/Nude]
Fire Investigator by Mark T [Non-nude/Nude]

WP_20140714_16_55_16_Pro
Soooo tired…I’m ready to be home. Sarasota, Florida here I come. -FB Post Monday, July 14, 2014

Lastly, what was really cool was on the plan ride home from Albany, New York, this attractive black girl was sitting next to me, it was a two seats row. She has a strong energy that I like. I saw it as an opportunity for me, provided by the Universe, to work on my sexual healing. I started to have a conversation with her, I didn’t have any fear because I did not tie my sexual energy to sex and putting out an intention of wanting to be like sexually in return response. It was totally awesome, I felt like we had friendly flirtation and our conversation was good to the point where she finally introduced herself to me, “My name is Lauren, by the way.” She is from upstate New York, had just recently moved to Louisiana and is planning to go to school to become a sound technician.

[Part 2] Dick pic, self-image, sexual energy, and existentialism. Monday, July 7, 2014

After getting some good responses from my friends on my Dick pic, self-image, spiritual sex dilemma, and the journey to being a light warrior. Thursday, July 3, 2014 blog post, I want to do a part 2 and touch on the subject of liberation, and sexual energy.

But first, I got two older guys showing me their nude pic after reading my blog post, one told me I inspired him to do it. Hmmm, I take compliment at face value and not the intention or reason behind it, so I thought that was really cool. Then this white guy I was chatting with was saying that I have a nice dick, based on my nude pic, and was asking if I have a hard on dick pic. I was tempted to send it just to show off…but I must stay true to my boundary that I have now set for myself. Because I want to untie my naked body from sex, I want to not be afraid of people seeing me naked because somehow there is something sexual or bad about it. I don’t want to get all depressing, but nudity was tied to sex for me at an early age because I was molested by adults since I was 4 years old. At the time I did not receive any form of physical affection due to growing up without my parents, and my first feeling of physical love and affection was in a form of sex…but that is a topic for another day. Being nude, or seeing people nude used to mean sex for me because of bad programming, and I want to remove it.

7/4, 7:30pm est [FB Message] Chris: Why did u start having concerns bout sending dic pics?
7/4, 8:49pm Natt: It’s less of a concern and more of a personal spiritual evolution? I don’t want to tie my body to sex. At the same time wanting to be able to appreciate the human body in a nonsexual physical form
7/4, 9:09pm Chris: I c. Makes sense. Very Buddha 🙂
7/4, 10:18pm Natt: ha, if you say so

No, I am a human being, this is my body, this is how I look when I don’t dress myself up, it has nothing to do with sex, or me wanting to have sex. And people, and myself, want to be able to appreciate and look at other people’s body. We want to see, it is part of our humanity. So by untying myself from dick pic, and be in the form of this is how I look without clothes “make up”, this is how God made me, I get to share with people what I look like because it’s fun and I enjoy doing it.

I feel liberated. I could now share all of me with people and without shame. I could let people see what I look like nude, people could do the same, and our conversation doesn’t have to revolve around sex, I get to connect with people at a different level. And if it does revert to sex, I could take it as flirtation and nothing more, and I could also attempt to elevate the conversation to a higher energy vibration. I could now work toward not having to worry if someone get to see me naked when they are around me, it’s just my body.

7/7 12:52pm Mrudov: Well, I finally got to the end of your blog (Part 1) and read Peter’s opinion, which I agree. Someone who wants to see dick pics or wants to show dick pics in only interested in having sex. My question is always this: Is the man attached to the dick or is the dick attached to the man?
1:00pm NattyICE: Hmmm.
Mrudov: Thinking of an answer?
1:01pm NattyICE: For me, it would be the dick attached to the man.
Mrudov: Because?
1:04pm NattyICE: Because a dick just tells me what I can do as a physical being, and it doesn’t define who I am? What would be your answer?
1:08pm Mrudov: Well, kinda. It means that the man is more important and he happens to have a dick. It means that you are more interested in getting to know that man than what his dick can do. If you said that the man is attached to the dick, it means you think the dick is the most important thing and it happens to be attached to a man (but you really don’t care about him).
1:10pm NattyICE: Right. Do you still want to see what someone looks like without clothes?What they really look like, how God made them?
1:11pm Mrudov: Of course, I am attracted to the whole man. I do like to see his body, too, but it is secondary.
1:12pm NattyICE: Exactly. Or wanting to appreciate what someone truly looks like, guys or girls.
Mrudov: I am an atheist, so I am not spiritual at all, but nature is beautiful. Well some nature is! There are men who are not so beautiful in my eyes, but attraction is very important. That is also part of nature.
1:14pm NattyICE: And it’s not all about attraction.

Ok, this has nothing to do with dick pic, but it is a subject that I’m leading into and want to continue to write about. Sexual energy is very powerful, and it could be use for other purposes if desired, and that’s what I’m working on. I feel different when I keep my sexual energy to me, and I feel like I have more power for my other abilities. I feel like I could connect and love everyone, now that I’m unraveling the human body from sex, my human body. I must observe myself more and keep this up. I like this blog topic I found on sexual energy http://howtoraiseyourvibration.blogspot.com/2012/02/spirituality-sexuality-and-chakra.html

July 4, 2014 [2:31:04 PM] [Skype Chat] gingerboy: i don’t think i believe there is no sexual interest in asking a guy to show u his naked body
[2:32:14 PM] Natt: ok, do you believe there is somewhat of a sexual interest in seeing any picture?
[2:32:20 PM] gingerboy: no. i mean there can theoretically be no sexual interest. but i think for u u have sexual interest
[2:33:18 PM] Natt: I guess I worded that wrong.
[2:34:19 PM] gingerboy: ok
[2:36:28 PM] Natt: It’s too complicated for me to try to explain myself about that topic right now…lol. May be I’ll be able to explain it better one day
[2:36:50 PM] gingerboy: ok. so u never jerk off right?
[2:37:26 PM] Natt: I didn’t say never. I just don’t do that now. And I’m planning to go farther than what I have done before, which was 4 months.
[2:38:24 PM] gingerboy: if i don’t jerk off, i have wet dreams instead. haha
[2:39:50 PM] Natt: it happened to me last time, once. The energy has to be released. What I’m working on is moving my sexual energy upward to the crown chakra.
[2:40:08 PM] gingerboy: meaning ?
[2:42:01 PM] Natt: Sexual energy is very powerful, and it could be use for other purposes if desired. Which goes back to what I was trying to explain about sex being part of the human make up, but like I said, I’m not able to explain it clearly just yet. Basically I want to have more of the “cosmic orgasm” than physical
[2:45:25 PM] gingerboy: not sure what that means
[2:48:22 PM] Natt: I’ll probably be able to explain it better one day. sex and spirituality goes hand it hand, and spiritual sex just means using your sexual power/energy the right way. It doesn’t mean abstaining from sex.
[2:53:45 PM] gingerboy: agreed. and while jerking off doesn’t seem so spiritual. wet dreams are messy. haha. id rather the former than the latter
[2:54:56 PM] Natt: I don’t know if masturbation is not spiritual or not, all I know is that masturbating depletes you sexual energy.
[2:55:28 PM] gingerboy: makes me less horny. that helps with productivity. haha
[2:55:45 PM] Natt: ha
[2:56:06 PM] gingerboy: i haven’t for a few days, then i might find myself talking about sex at 3pm instead of doing something useful haha
[2:56:09 PM] Natt: and your sexual energy could be use to help elevate your energy vibration…That’s the thing, you could force that sexual energy up to the other chakras, mainly your heart chakra, by not focusing on it (hold on to it) when it arises.
[2:57:49 PM] gingerboy: i don’t think they are additive

I took some more nude pictures today, I’m enjoying it. It’s fun, just like taking selfies. However, there is something I don’t feel quite right yet. Something about the energy is off, it could just be new territory for me. This is a living experiment…existentialism. And I’m not trying to take people sexual energy…I don’t think.

*Disclaimer* Don’t click on the link to my flickr album if you have a personal issue with nudity, especially have an issue with seeing me nude. Natt’s Nude Picture

Anyway, never forget this.

[1:41:42 PM] gingerboy: if u r looking for light, nude pics are less relevant than how you respect and care for others, i promise u that