[Part 2] Dick pic, self-image, sexual energy, and existentialism. Monday, July 7, 2014

After getting some good responses from my friends on my Dick pic, self-image, spiritual sex dilemma, and the journey to being a light warrior. Thursday, July 3, 2014 blog post, I want to do a part 2 and touch on the subject of liberation, and sexual energy.

But first, I got two older guys showing me their nude pic after reading my blog post, one told me I inspired him to do it. Hmmm, I take compliment at face value and not the intention or reason behind it, so I thought that was really cool. Then this white guy I was chatting with was saying that I have a nice dick, based on my nude pic, and was asking if I have a hard on dick pic. I was tempted to send it just to show off…but I must stay true to my boundary that I have now set for myself. Because I want to untie my naked body from sex, I want to not be afraid of people seeing me naked because somehow there is something sexual or bad about it. I don’t want to get all depressing, but nudity was tied to sex for me at an early age because I was molested by adults since I was 4 years old. At the time I did not receive any form of physical affection due to growing up without my parents, and my first feeling of physical love and affection was in a form of sex…but that is a topic for another day. Being nude, or seeing people nude used to mean sex for me because of bad programming, and I want to remove it.

7/4, 7:30pm est [FB Message] Chris: Why did u start having concerns bout sending dic pics?
7/4, 8:49pm Natt: It’s less of a concern and more of a personal spiritual evolution? I don’t want to tie my body to sex. At the same time wanting to be able to appreciate the human body in a nonsexual physical form
7/4, 9:09pm Chris: I c. Makes sense. Very Buddha 🙂
7/4, 10:18pm Natt: ha, if you say so

No, I am a human being, this is my body, this is how I look when I don’t dress myself up, it has nothing to do with sex, or me wanting to have sex. And people, and myself, want to be able to appreciate and look at other people’s body. We want to see, it is part of our humanity. So by untying myself from dick pic, and be in the form of this is how I look without clothes “make up”, this is how God made me, I get to share with people what I look like because it’s fun and I enjoy doing it.

I feel liberated. I could now share all of me with people and without shame. I could let people see what I look like nude, people could do the same, and our conversation doesn’t have to revolve around sex, I get to connect with people at a different level. And if it does revert to sex, I could take it as flirtation and nothing more, and I could also attempt to elevate the conversation to a higher energy vibration. I could now work toward not having to worry if someone get to see me naked when they are around me, it’s just my body.

7/7 12:52pm Mrudov: Well, I finally got to the end of your blog (Part 1) and read Peter’s opinion, which I agree. Someone who wants to see dick pics or wants to show dick pics in only interested in having sex. My question is always this: Is the man attached to the dick or is the dick attached to the man?
1:00pm NattyICE: Hmmm.
Mrudov: Thinking of an answer?
1:01pm NattyICE: For me, it would be the dick attached to the man.
Mrudov: Because?
1:04pm NattyICE: Because a dick just tells me what I can do as a physical being, and it doesn’t define who I am? What would be your answer?
1:08pm Mrudov: Well, kinda. It means that the man is more important and he happens to have a dick. It means that you are more interested in getting to know that man than what his dick can do. If you said that the man is attached to the dick, it means you think the dick is the most important thing and it happens to be attached to a man (but you really don’t care about him).
1:10pm NattyICE: Right. Do you still want to see what someone looks like without clothes?What they really look like, how God made them?
1:11pm Mrudov: Of course, I am attracted to the whole man. I do like to see his body, too, but it is secondary.
1:12pm NattyICE: Exactly. Or wanting to appreciate what someone truly looks like, guys or girls.
Mrudov: I am an atheist, so I am not spiritual at all, but nature is beautiful. Well some nature is! There are men who are not so beautiful in my eyes, but attraction is very important. That is also part of nature.
1:14pm NattyICE: And it’s not all about attraction.

Ok, this has nothing to do with dick pic, but it is a subject that I’m leading into and want to continue to write about. Sexual energy is very powerful, and it could be use for other purposes if desired, and that’s what I’m working on. I feel different when I keep my sexual energy to me, and I feel like I have more power for my other abilities. I feel like I could connect and love everyone, now that I’m unraveling the human body from sex, my human body. I must observe myself more and keep this up. I like this blog topic I found on sexual energy http://howtoraiseyourvibration.blogspot.com/2012/02/spirituality-sexuality-and-chakra.html

July 4, 2014 [2:31:04 PM] [Skype Chat] gingerboy: i don’t think i believe there is no sexual interest in asking a guy to show u his naked body
[2:32:14 PM] Natt: ok, do you believe there is somewhat of a sexual interest in seeing any picture?
[2:32:20 PM] gingerboy: no. i mean there can theoretically be no sexual interest. but i think for u u have sexual interest
[2:33:18 PM] Natt: I guess I worded that wrong.
[2:34:19 PM] gingerboy: ok
[2:36:28 PM] Natt: It’s too complicated for me to try to explain myself about that topic right now…lol. May be I’ll be able to explain it better one day
[2:36:50 PM] gingerboy: ok. so u never jerk off right?
[2:37:26 PM] Natt: I didn’t say never. I just don’t do that now. And I’m planning to go farther than what I have done before, which was 4 months.
[2:38:24 PM] gingerboy: if i don’t jerk off, i have wet dreams instead. haha
[2:39:50 PM] Natt: it happened to me last time, once. The energy has to be released. What I’m working on is moving my sexual energy upward to the crown chakra.
[2:40:08 PM] gingerboy: meaning ?
[2:42:01 PM] Natt: Sexual energy is very powerful, and it could be use for other purposes if desired. Which goes back to what I was trying to explain about sex being part of the human make up, but like I said, I’m not able to explain it clearly just yet. Basically I want to have more of the “cosmic orgasm” than physical
[2:45:25 PM] gingerboy: not sure what that means
[2:48:22 PM] Natt: I’ll probably be able to explain it better one day. sex and spirituality goes hand it hand, and spiritual sex just means using your sexual power/energy the right way. It doesn’t mean abstaining from sex.
[2:53:45 PM] gingerboy: agreed. and while jerking off doesn’t seem so spiritual. wet dreams are messy. haha. id rather the former than the latter
[2:54:56 PM] Natt: I don’t know if masturbation is not spiritual or not, all I know is that masturbating depletes you sexual energy.
[2:55:28 PM] gingerboy: makes me less horny. that helps with productivity. haha
[2:55:45 PM] Natt: ha
[2:56:06 PM] gingerboy: i haven’t for a few days, then i might find myself talking about sex at 3pm instead of doing something useful haha
[2:56:09 PM] Natt: and your sexual energy could be use to help elevate your energy vibration…That’s the thing, you could force that sexual energy up to the other chakras, mainly your heart chakra, by not focusing on it (hold on to it) when it arises.
[2:57:49 PM] gingerboy: i don’t think they are additive

I took some more nude pictures today, I’m enjoying it. It’s fun, just like taking selfies. However, there is something I don’t feel quite right yet. Something about the energy is off, it could just be new territory for me. This is a living experiment…existentialism. And I’m not trying to take people sexual energy…I don’t think.

*Disclaimer* Don’t click on the link to my flickr album if you have a personal issue with nudity, especially have an issue with seeing me nude. Natt’s Nude Picture

Anyway, never forget this.

[1:41:42 PM] gingerboy: if u r looking for light, nude pics are less relevant than how you respect and care for others, i promise u that