Activation Code: 1212
Star Child. Golden Child. Diamond Child.
We are the Evolution.
We are the Revolution.
We are the Liberation.
It is not about the light and the dark.
It is not about judgment.
It is not about separations.
Be free of duality.
Be free of ego self.
For we are brothers and sisters,
With our own identity,
With our own journeys, stories, and purpose.
This is about Divine Love.
This is about Pure Faith.
This is about Harmonious Giving.
This is about True Justice.
This is about Complete Unitary Respect.
This is our Evolution.
This is our Revolution.
This is our Liberation.
9:29pm est: I feel so tired today…but…I…must….keep…on…typing. So, yesterday was a full moon, and naturally it always turn out to be a day of dancing with the moon. Gosh, so many cool things happened yesterday, and one just right before I started this blog. Interconnected series of events orchestrated by energy.force.power.being higher than myself.
Let’s start with the first event, of the day of the full moon. Right after Ruth got into the van at around 9:20am, we were going to Great Escape 6 Flags, she asked me, “Natt, what is God to you?” Whoa….caught off guard. Well, I didn’t have an answer for her right away…I didn’t know how to answer her and not making it more confusing for her, who is still identifying herself as an agnostic, or to put it in another way, I don’t want to give her more reason to cling to the believe that we are all just some random chance of event with no real meaning. What is God to you? Hmmm. What it did though was sparked a discussion between Ruth, Jon, Jason and I that lasted almost the entire ride from Wells to Lake George, New York…about an hour. And here are some notes from the conversation.
I mentioned Jesus and Buddha pretty much said the something, we are god, or reflections of God. And through their example, is to get to God, or become one with God once more.
Ruth was saying it’s evolution, it’s genetic code. I asked her if it’s a code, who created it? Who wrote that code?
Jon was comparing not seeing signs to a friend calling you and u never pick up, eventually they will not call as often. I love that analogy.
Soul is the body of the spirit. Jon further go into Soul is the bridge between our spirit and this realm.
What is angel…
Jon tried to explain what God is to him by posing questions, why do things exists? Why are they there? Yes science could explain to us how it all works in the molecular level, but how did it get there in the first place, where are they from? He told Ruth that she has a lot of faith too, to believe things just exists out of nothing and not by intelligent design.
Jon said on God is all loving, and he only observes hate. Makes me think about Adam and Eve and the fruit of knowledge of good and evil.
Jon said, being in hell, he believes is basically being separated from God. It makes me think of my experience in San Diego in May and June of 2013, it did seem like I was starting to move over into the hell realm because I was separating myself from God…among other explanations.
Jon and I agrees that Ruth wants to know God, she is looking for proof in the form of physical evidence. I hope she finds it. Jon also told Ruth that for him, once he chose to open up to God and believe, he has been much happier and has received proof of his own. This goes back to me saying spirituality and God is an experience, a personal experience, no one can proof or provide one for you.
We stopped at a gas station, and I made a joke Ruth went to find God in the gas station…lol. Naser said looking through the hole in the bathroom. Jon said he understands Ruth and doesn’t want to call her ignorant, he used to be like that. I said yeah, that’s why we need to respect where she is. We all have our own path, and we had to go through it too to get to where we are now.
Jon asked what happened to us when we die? Ruth said we rot and go back to the earth, it’s the cycle. To me that is spiritual, she already knows deep down inside…we go back to the source…but she is fighting. Jason said to Ruth that she already has a thread of faith, I said to Ruth you do, you are just fighting it. Ruth said, ok I’ll try to be open minded.
At one point Jon and Ruth were talking about science, Einstein and other names were brought up, between whether it explains or doesn’t explain God, provide an evidence of God or disprove the logic of God. That was when I had my answer for Ruth, I told her:
God is energy, to me God is energy. Energy could neither be created nor destroyed.
Hmm, where’s my cigar?
Now, I didn’t think much of the morning conversation nor remembered it was the full moon until what was about to happen later in the evening. I was too busy with 6 Flags being on my mind. Anyway, after dinner at Golden Corral, which was way better than the last time I went to one several years ago, words and sentences started to form inside my head as I was starting to wind down from an active day. I was getting really tired, decided to put in earphones and started to listen to Diamonds by Rihanna…then it started…reclaim your innocence. After several sentences were forming.inserted in my mind, I wondered to myself, is this another “free writing” happening? Should I even bother writing it down? Right after I had that thought, I saw the number 687. Numbers, beyond any other signs and messages, are the most responsive and most definitive signs for me. So I thought ok….I’ll whip out my phone and start typing….then the entire thing just flowed out. Then I received another two signs right after I finished typing Reclaim Your Innocence, that yes, this is a message from something beyond, to myself and possibly to others. First, was the number 8679. I will go into more detail about the two numbers in another post later. Anyhow, the second sign was a porcupine. The porcupine was very large with very beautiful short and long golden pines, very beautiful. I have never seen one like it before, and it reminded me of a peacock, that’s how beautiful it was. I wish I had taken a picture of it, but I wasn’t thinking in the heat of the moment. The porcupine was just standing right in our lane, I felt like I could see it’s eye looking at us. Harry, our driver, stopped the van and the porcupine continued to cross the street. At the time, I felt it’s energy and believe it’s trying to tell me something.
Right before I started this blog post, I decided to look up the spiritual message of a porcupine. And what I found was….HOLY SHIT MOTHER LOAD! Innocence and story telling….INNOCENCE!!!
Another big thing was I received my Certificate of Completion from Saint Jude’s Cognitive Behavioral Education yesterday, Saturday, Full Moon.
The moon was so beautiful last night. I could see it with dimensions and the imperfection. And when I stared at it, I could see the light shining out of the moon moving around the night sky, like the moon is a spotlight searching for something. Interesting… But before all that, as we were driving toward Mark’s place after getting some food (I’m staying over at Mark’s place for the weekend before I go home to Florida Monday), the moon was just starting to rise! We could see it over the valley where Mark’s house is, it was orange like the sun. Minus, the bloodsuckers jamming their points into my skin, it was so amazing, it was beautiful, it was wonderful…innocence.
After I posted my video blog and Reclaim Your Innocence last night, Rob made comments to it on Facebook and made a post that touched my heart. I thought it was really neat that he used the word “inspired”
Robert Alonso: 8675309 Robert Alonso: <youtube link to Enima – Return to Innocence> Nattawat Apibal: Lol, this song kept running through my head after I finished typing the free writing in my phone… Robert Alonso: I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song! Used it a lot in the youth group stuff. Robert Alonso: Gonna post it on my page LOL
Nattawat Apibal: 😀 Robert Alonso: Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
And if you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself, don’t hide
Just believe in destiny
Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That’s not the beginning, it’s the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence Nattawat Apibal: Thank you for this 😀 Love you! Robert Alonso: Back at ya Nattawat! So proud of you for what you’ve accomplished these past few months!
Now today, I went for brunch at American Hotel in Sharon Springs, New York with Mark T and walked around Cooperstown…it was lovely. I don’t want to use the word lovely but it was. I want to end this blog with another cool event happened just a couple of hours ago. Mark’s friend and friend of his friend is over for a TV Party. I strike up a conversation with Ann, and she said she’s a copywriter and editor. So, of course I had to show her my blog. What cool is, it’s starting to be a repeating message from the Universe about me writing. First, it was the medium in Cassadaga, FL, that I saw in January of 2012, who told me she see books with my name on it. She said by the end of my life time, I will either have written books or books would be written about me. Second, I was told by the Universe and Dr. PV while at Origins in the end of 2012 about I should start writing and it was the first time “free writing” became a part of my vocabulary. Third, a psychic I saw in Austin, TX in October 2013 told me that she sees me writing, or will be writing books. She told me it’s ok to share my experience but to keep certain personal notes to myself. Fourth, Paul A introduced me to Chris B who seems to like my blog. I might be working for him writing some articles for his website gaycities.com and queerty.com And lastly, Mark T and his friend Matt introducing me to Ann. Interconnected series of events indeed.
Sunday TV Party with Mark and his friends. One is another cop. But but, the other is a copywriter-editor…I think God is trying to tell me something… -FB Post
“Call it magic
Call it true
Call it magic
When I’m with you
And I just got broken
Broken into two
Still I call it magic
When I’m next to you
And I don’t, and I don’t and I don’t, and I don’t
No, I don’t,
It’s true
I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t want anybody else but you
I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t
No, I don’t,
It’s true
I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t want anybody else but you
Call it magic
Cut me into two
And with all your magic
I disappear from view
And I can’t get over
Can’t get over you
Still I call it magic
You’re such a precious jewel
Wanna fall
I fall so far
I wanna fall
I fall so hard
And I call it magic
And I call it true
I call it magic
And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic
Oh yes I do
Oh yes I do
Yes I do
Oh yes I do
Of course I do” -COLDPLAY
Reclaim your innocence,
Star Child, Diamond Child, Golden Child,
You must reclaim your innocence,
For I love you.
Your innocence has been robbed from you.
And I wept for your pain,
I wept for your struggle,
I wept for your astray.
I sacrificed for your soul,
Because I have faith in you,
Because I love you.
I forgive you always,
I accept you always,
I understand you always,
I have compassion for you always.
Tear down the veil of separation.illusion,
Come back to me,
Be with me once more.
Reclaim your innocence,
Love yourself and love me,
For we were never separated,
Only in your mind.
Break free.
Liberate.
Elevate.
Vibrate to higher frequency.
Now is the time for me to come out of my cocoon and spread my wings, and learn to fly, to soar to new heights. All of my doors are now open to me, whatever door I choose from now on will determine the doors left remaining.
Dear God, thank you for giving the one man I love the chances and opportunities to rise with me, though remains in the dark he may be, please continue to guide him back to love and the light, please protect him. I love him very much, with all of my heart.
Ascension time has come.
Dear God, thank you for your continue guidance and protection. Thank you for all of the clarity, awareness, love, future insights, and providing me with every information I have ever requested. Although some time I cursed you because I get confused with fear, I know you have been preparing me for this moment. Thank you for allowing me to redeem myself and become your faithful warrior, I am your servant.
Nattawat Apibal's Open Journal Blog [Nathaniel Artemis Shepherd][NattyICE][Natt9450] 